Yep, I’m a short, fat little gnome, my take on the poor sap I mock with my TeddyJ screen name, which sounds just like his real name but I spell it different.
I’m a rude and crude lil guy and mean as hell. I got no manners or class to speak of and I love embarrassin folks and shockin the shit out of em. I got lotsa smelly gas which I let rip in the chat room and then laugh me ass off. (__o__) Ppfffftt! Ha ha ha! I’m such a stinker!
Sometimes I sneak up under someun’s dress and hide. While I’m under there we both get our jollies, if ya know what I mean. Them ladies are crazy about my pointy little hat. I tickle em with my whiskers and make em giggle. If I’m feeling really naughty, I get my fingers in the pie, so to speak. HA!
I got lotsa silly old wimmen who love to squeeze me n poke me n pet me. My pecker is only three inches all fired up, but they love the lil bugger. Just between you n me, these old ladies are some kinda desperate, but who am I to look a gift nag in the mouth. A squatty, ugly, stinky old gnome like me will take anything he can git! HA!
There’s a new threat in town—and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless yard decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here.
Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defense expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system—Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply—for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognizing and interpreting the signs of a gathering hoard, and—in the event that a secured perimeter is breached—confronting and combating the attackers at close range.
SITE FEATURES |  |
No comments:
Post a Comment