(Part II follows)
This is a story about how a totally unpleasant and thoroughly deranged garden gnome found the internet and began a global reign of terror on humans.
Gnomes as a rule are a very clever and friendly folk who live and work underground and get along well with plant, fish, fowl, man and beast. They are highly technical and love gadgets and machines, although they are suspicious of anything beyond what they can invent and build themselves and they suspect many human inventions of being shrouded in evil spells and black magic. This suspicion probably stems from a deep-seated envy and resentment of superior human technical capabilities, since gnomes are prone to such sentiments and are famous for carrying grudges..
Garden gnomes, now, are a different sort. Aside from a shared passion for gadgets and machines, garden gnomes have very little in common with their underground cousins. Long ages ago, a clan of European garden gnomes left the darkness of the caves and caverns to dwell in the light amongst the living things on the face of the earth, taking up farming and growing dark and swarthy under the bright, warm sun.
These gnomes prospered in the bountiful woods, valleys and meadowlands; grew plump and rosy-cheeked and were blessed with many children. Gnome towns and villages blossomed like spring flowers across the countryside. Gnomes and humans began to mingle on the road and in the marketplace and pubs, and after a time they began to share a bit of knowledge and technology. That’s about as far as it went, because gnomes are gnomes and therefore given to grumpiness and mischief, but for the most part everyone got on well enough together at a safe arm’s length. And so it was for a few hundred years. . .
~~CONTINUED BELOW~~
No comments:
Post a Comment